The couch life

Hey guys, sorry for checking out on this place. I'm still here if anyone needs a forum but this like most off shots of TWC will never be more than what it is now I guess. I never really expected it to be. I just don't have the time to promote and invent it over and over again. My real life has turned to shit mostly. I have been on my friends couch for the past few months. The wife after 14 years gave me the boot. I didn't do anything bad, she just decided that she wasnt happy. She has had health problems and has been shut up in the house for most of the year and is depressed. I have left and she says she doesn't feel any better. She says she loves me and I'm over there after work most days and we spend every other weekend together. Again I don't think I am the problem and she doesnt either. Why am I telling you guys this? I don't know, just thought I would let you in on my life. That is what is great about the internet. You can vent to complete strangers and its ok. I'm doing fine and as much as I hate to admit it, I have enjoyed some of the time apart. It has almost been a vacation to get a way from the house and some responsibility. Although I miss my kids like crazy on the days I don't go over after work.

Well I created a dev. forum here for a project I am working on so I hope to drop by more often. I hope all is well on your couches. I'm keeping my friends couch company for now.

http://www.twcenter.net/forums/showthread.php?t=397193

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y2day,

Really sorry to here of your present situation it must be incredibly difficult for you and the family. It is great that you can still go and see her and the children and works things out. Whilst you are talking a compromise is always possible, the free time allows you both to re-evaluate the situation and understand the root cause. Reminds me of the Chicago song says 'Everyone needs a little time away'.

all the best

NJ

y2day

you have our best wishes.

being kicked out after 14 years is grim.

is your wife having any counselling ?

Hey y2day,

I really feel for you mate. My life has also turned to shit. I'm going through a similar situation (which is why I haven't been around much). My girlfriend of six and a half years left me over a month ago. It was totally out of the blue. I thought everything was great and that we were both happy. But then one weekend she started getting distant and then that monday night she told me she wanted to end it. She said that she felt that we had become too co-dependent and that she hadn't been happy for quite a while (but she hid it well). She said that she had been doing things to make me happy rather than things that make her happy. Because i didn't know anything was wrong, I didn't know things needed to change. She didn't say anything to me until it got to the point that she felt she had to end it. I suggested we should go to a relationship counsellor but she didn't want to.

To make matters worse, she said that a while back she had met a guy at work and they had become friends. Nothing had happened between them, but he made her realise that something was missing from her life. She said that she didn't leave me for him, but it sure as hell feels like she was clearing the decks so that something could happen between them.

So now I've moved back into my parents place. I've lost the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, my cats that I absolutely loved, the great house that we had and my entire life with it. It all still feels like a bad dream. I just wish I could wake up from it.

Sorry for that thread hijack. Venting does help though. Y2day if I were anywhere near you, I'd buy you a pint or five. I think your wife should see a counsellor. I'm seeing a counsellor for my crap and it does help.

Thanks everyone for your replies. We have talked about counseling and are going to give it a go. She has a shrink that she sees once a month already. I have never been but am willing to do just about anything. Our kids are the most important thing in the world to us and we will do whtever it takes to make them happy, but if we are not happy then they wont be either. I must say our sex life has gotten even better. I go over there for lunch and she attacks me 2 or 3 times a week. lol We have always had a healthy relationship in the bedroom and that hasn't changed. She says she wants to start over. We rushed right along when we first met. Married and kids before we where 20 years old. She wants to try dating and if it works out, to have a real proper wedding that we never had. I am confident that it will all work out. Atleast that is what I am praying for.

CC - damn mate I'm sorry. I would buy you a pint or five as well. We could get good fall down drunk and cry on each others shoulders mate. It is so hard to be crushed like that, exspecially when you don't see it coming. i know it seems like you have lost everything now but keep your head up. It will get easier. For the first 2 weeks after I left I couldn't eat, sleep and wished I could just get out of my own head for a few seconds. It has gotten a little easier but it takes time. (I still can't sleep without a little help) Maybe she will realize what she has walked away from and come back. You can't dwell on it, concentrate on making your own life better and getting your mind healthy. Don't let her ruin your life CC. You are a great guy and life is short. Don't waste it sitting around feeling sorry for yourself or hating someone for hurting you. Find happiness, its out there. I know easier said than done. I'm here for you as much as one can be over the net. Man we are a mess huh? lol Sorry mate but I have to laugh or I will cry..... Don't worry about hijacking this thread man this is what its here for. Again I truly am sorry my friend.

Thanks mate. I would give anything right now to get out of my head for a while too. Every waking moment I'm thinking about her and I'm just sick of it. 5 weeks of this shit and I just need some normality to return. I try to keep busy to keep my mind off of everything but it doesn't help when everything I would normally do reminds me of her and reminds me of what I've lost. We even used to game together so I dont even have that refuge. It hasn't helped that my job finished up last friday so I'm home all day now. Have you seen Star Trek: First Contact? I really envy Data and his ability to turn off his emotions.

Yes I've seen it. It would be great to be able to just turn it off....... You should find something to keep you busy. Go get a new game maybe? Had a good day myself. Like I said it gets easier but I do have work to keep me busy. I took one day off a few weeks ago and it sucked. I feel for you man.

Yesterday was bad for me. Just could not switch my brain off no matter what I tried. I wish it were as simple as buying a new game to distract myself. But one of the reasons why she left me is because she said we played games too much. So now I'm left feeling like I can't game anymore. That it's wrong. Crazy I know, but crazy thoughts are not in short supply here. Not by a long shot.

Im really sorry to hear whats happening in your real life y2day and caesar clivus. Great guys like u 2 dont deserve to have shit happen to them.

I wish you the best of luck with your problems and I hope you sort em out.

Damn guys... that is some hard happenings... wish I could say something that make it feel better or solve the crap you feel... but I can't...

I realize that the thread's been dead for three months and so much could have happened during that time, but however that's the case, I just want to say that I feel for you both... I have also been dumped once by a girl I thought was the One and it f***ed up my feelings for almost four years... but then I met my wife and she showed me that ones ability to love ain't dead with one person... it just evolves and changes and becomes something new...

Now I am happily married with two kids, but sometime I think about that girl... not in a longing way or in a sullen way, but in a thankful way... if she hadn't f***ed my life around all those years ago I wouldn't have met my wife or my kids I have today... life changes and evolves and if you fit in to the new situation you can find happiness again...

and let ME buy the beer if you decide to drown your sorrows... you will need a designated driver after all....

Thanks. I could do with a pint or five.

I can get you an umbrella for the glasses if that makes you feel any better...

it's been three months now... Didn't mean to bring bad memories up, but is it still shitty Caesar?

Yep pretty much.

damn... here you go then....

Cheers mate.